Awakened Life- falling apart

Not to long ago my husband said to me, "you and others like you make this Ascension thing look so easy." I never thought about it until he said this. By the time we start sharing we have gone through the hard part and are in a state of flow. We have a new prospective on life and normally try not to be attached to an outcome.

In this series I will start to turn back the clock and share my experiences with you. Sharing my feelings then and my expanded perspective now. My hope is to assist you as your going through the hard part, give you tips that helped me, and hopefully help you find hope.

Through great pain comes great change.

No words were ever more true then these in the start of my Awakening. My trigger, my great pain was my dad getting cancer. The exact cancer my mom died from when I was a child. In my search to find a way to save him my awakening started. I was sure after 21 years some progress was made on treatment. But no. I researched inside and outside of traditional treatment. It wasn't until after his death that I found many things we could have tried... I started to awaken to the truths of the world I lived in. How was I so blind? I felt mad and stupid at the same time. Things I once fought for were the very things harming us.

As I was trying to wrap my head around the truths of the world my personal life was falling apart. My kids were kicked out of daycare and preschool. One son had anger problems and the other was a copycat. I homeschool for a few years. But at least had to put them in public school. They were falling behind because of my one son's behavior. We are talking daily rage fits, destroying the house fits. I just couldn't deal with his behaviors and teach 2 kids everything they needed to know. I also switched jobs twice in this time.

I was beyond devastated the way my life was. I felt like no matter what I did I was messing it all up. So many tears were cried as I tried so hard to pick up the pieces of my life only to have them knocked down again. Not a day went by that I didn't want to quit my life. Just walk away and say f it. This is the dark night of the soul (Google it).

It was a few months into the new school year when I found something that felt right about this new life that I was pushed into. By this time I had to change my work schedule to working only weekends 16 hours each day. This way I was free to help the school with my son. I was a single mom at the time so it was all on me. My sister watched the kids when she wasn't working. Thank God. This also meant 5 days off a week for me. By this time my kids were 6 and 7 finally I had time to myself.

It was during my few hours of freedom that I found my state of flow. I now had a few hours to disconnect from the issues of my life and just be. I didn't go into deep meditation or anything. I just walked to trails in the nature park and started to share with you all the information I was uncovering. Most importantly I start to see the purpose of putting my kids back in school. One of our missions is to assist in changing how schools teach. This is a mission still going and causes a great number of tears.

Tips to survive

1. Move your body. During my hard times I discovered yoga. I'm not talking about going to a class. I'm talking about watching the kids play and trying to get a few moves in before a fight breaks out. Or having them do it with me. Cosmic kids is a great YouTube for that.

Body movement assist in moving blocked energy, patterns, pain, and negativity out if the body. It frees the channels of energy through your body.

2. Meditation. I'm not talking about a 20 minutes session and out of body experiences. No mom has time for that. While sitting in the sun watching the kids play consciously know, feel, see the source energy come into you. Or while in the shower or at a river see, feel, know the negativity is being washed away.

3. Faith. Have faith that everything is in divine order. It will all work out in the end. You must first believe then you will see.

4. Letting go. Let go of the way life was. Life is always changing and it will lead you to where you should be. Let go of how you want life to be. Let go of old pain. Let go of relationships. Let go of jobs.

5. Take it one day at a time. Get through today. Tomorrow try to be better then the day before. Don't be hard on yourself though. Self love is very important now. You are doing the best you can in your present reality.

6. Light codes, frequency grids, and light language. These help me now. I write a light code on my hand and it reminds me of what I want to do that day. It always gives you an energetic boost to make it happen. I listen to light language while cleaning. I place a frequency grid on my wallpaper on my phone. All assist me in keeping a higher vibration so life doesn't seem so hard.

7. Affirmations. These help me now too. I play affirmations from YouTube while I do house work or yoga. This programs my subconscious to be more positive.

8. Be thankful. Even if it is for just small stuff. Even if you are tganktha today didn't suck as much as yesterday. The more you consciously recognize the little things the more they will happen.