Empaths Setting Boundaries

Once you find out that you are an empath and start to take action in getting your life back you will find that the first thing you should do is form healthy boundaries. Empaths have horrible boundaries. We can feel others disappointments in us when we say no. Out of not wanting to feel this we fall in a self sacrificing routine. We would rather suffer then feel the disappointment of another.  

What we don’t see is self sacrificing is causing more pain and blocks in our energy channels. The more blocks we gather the less we are able to transmute the negative emotions we encounter. So I say to you stop!!! Easier said than done I know. I still find myself wanting to fall into that pattern, but I stop and take the disappointment from the other person.  

What are boundaries? 

A boundary is something that affects you incoming and outgoing interactions with others. It is what is right or wrong for you personally. Everyone will have their own personal set of boundaries. One person may like to be hugged a lot others may not like touching. For me sometime I have to limit touching because I take on 10x more emotions of others when touching someone. When I am trying to get my emotions under control and grounded or transmuted I can't have others emotions coming in and distorting mine. It feels the same as when you are a mom trying to read something important and your kids is trying to talk to you. You can't focus on both now a new emotion of anger is created. This emotion now needs to be dealt with. So one of my boundaries is space sometimes. By finding this boundary I am able to function better with others and in expressing this boundary to my loved ones they are able to function better with me.  

What are ways we allow our boundaries to be crossed? 

• We say no when we mean yes or say yes when we mean no. We may agree to work an extra shift when we don't want to. Or may say no to another cookie because others may think bad of us. 
• Acting against your values to please others. Your friends may all want to drive drunk, but you don't want to and you do it anyway. 
• Not speaking your truth. A lot of us have gifts like being an empath, but we don't tell others because of what they would think. 
• Taking on others beliefs to be liked. As kids we all did this. Be it religion, speak only when spoken to, respect your elder regardless of how they treat you, you must love your family regardless of how they treat you... 
• Not speaking up for yourself. Someone puts you down and you allow it and may even start to believe it. 
• Allowing physical touch when you don't want it. This was a hard one for me I would feel other physical wants as my own and just go with it. When I was not touching them found out it was not my need, but it was done. When my hands touch people I can feel their needs, pain, and emotions as my own.  
• Stopping what you are doing to do something for others. Any parents out there do this? Sometimes it is needed and sometimes it is not. 
• Not stating your needs. You really want your partner to massage your back because it hurts, but don’t ask for it. 

How do we find our boundaries? 

• Feeling guilty when you say no or upset when you say yes. This means you are going against your boundaries 
• Trust your feelings!!!!!!! They lead you every time to your boundaries. 
• Make a list every time you feel upset that you did or said something.